STAY [FUCKING] METAL....and yourself, please :)
When people walk away from you, let them go. You shouldn’t have to talk them into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, and coming to see you … because if they really cared about you in the first place, they would not be going anywhere.
Unknown (via purplebuddhaproject)
two robots who are girlfriends and one is super high tech and the other is kind of a cheap poorly made model and shes really self conscious compared to her shiny new state of the art girlfriend but the high tech girlfriend is like shhshhshh no baby ur adorable glitches and faulty parts and all
So basically lesbian wall.e?
#is it even 100%certain that wall.e is a guy anyway
I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK YOU’RE HIRED
Bother My Askbox?
- 1: What color are your socks?
- 2: Have you ever lied about your age? Why?
- 3: What is something you regret in the past month?
- 4: Do you believe in love at first sight?
- 5: When was the last time you wrote someone a letter on paper?
- 6: How old were you when you first learned how to ride a bike? Who taught you?
- 7: Do you get along with your parents? Why or why not?
- 8: What’s your favorite season?
- 9: Do you currently like someone?
- 10: Have you ever used an Ouija board?
- 11: What’s the last song you sang?
- 12: What’s your favorite scent?
- 13: What’s your favorite urban legend?
- 14: What’s a bad habit that you have?
- 15: What’s a strange habit that you have?
- 16: What’s the first instrument that you learned to play?
- 17: How would you describe your ‘type?’
- 18: Would you rather stay in or go out?
- 19: What was the last thing you said to your mom?
- 20: Do you want to get married someday?
- 21: Have you ever snuck out?
- 22: Can you sing well?
- 23: What’s an embarrassing thing that happened this week?
- 24: When was the last time you went sledding?
- 25: Have you ever/do you liked someone you know you can never be with?
- 26: Do people often mispronounce your name?
- 27: Would you like to live in another country?
- 28: Do you like to watch ghost-hunting shows?
- 29: Who was the last person you said you loved to?
- 30: What’s something you’d like to be better at?
- 31: Have you ever stayed up to talk to someone who was sad?
- 32: What was the last thing you cooked?
- 33: Do you think you would make a good parent?
- 34: Do you have trouble sleeping at night?
- 35: Where is your best friend right now?
- 36: How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
- 37: How late do you usually stay up at night?
- 38: When was the last time you cried and why?
- 39: Have you ever won a contest?
- 40: Can you draw well?
- 41: Would you ever date someone you met on Tumblr/the internet?
- 42: What was the last thing you ate?
- 43: Do you think you’re/you’d make a good boyfriend/girlfriend?
- 44: Have you ever had a near-death experience?
- 45: What do you think people think of you?
- 46: What is your middle name and do you like it?
- 47: Are you close with either of your parents?
- 48: Do you like yourself?
- 49: State five facts about your appearance –
- 50: State five facts about your personality –
- yes pls
stay at home dad leaves post its for his wife (part 2 ya lil shits)
Going to need more note pads… awwwwww!!!!
Oh. My. Gosh.
I love every single bit of this post.
(Source: lohanofficial, via l-0nd0nf0-g)
(Source: elukubracja, via iamthecreaturewithinus)
(Source: just-a-ghost-in-the-fog, via iamthecreaturewithinus)
(Source: bpieribeiro, via l-0nd0nf0-g)
SOMEONE FINALLY SAID IT
So if a teenager is at school for roughly 8 hours, and they are doing homework for 6+ hours, and they need AT LEAST 9 HOURS OF SLEEP FOR THEIR DEVELOPING BRAINS, then they may have 0-1 hours for other activities like eating, bathing, exercise, socializing (which is actually incredibly important for emotional, mental, and physical health, as well as the development of skills vital to their future career and having healthy romantic relationships among other things), religious activities, hobbies, extra curriculars, medical care of any kind, chores (also a skill/habit development thing and required by many parents), relaxation, and family time? Not to mention that your parents may or may not pressure you to get a job, or you might need to get one for economic reasons.
BLESS THIS POST
also filed under: reasons high schools copy homework and cheat
also the number of hours doing homework depends on if you have a learning disability/hard time focusing/etc.
One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)
Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.
Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.
Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.
Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)
Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.
Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.
Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.
Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.
Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love” (via dorkvader)
i feel like this should be published and sold everywhere
(Source: internmarlee, via thislilkitten)
when I go to the movie theatre
remember that time in high school musical 2 when Troy got all jealous because Gabriella started hanging out with Ryan and he thought Ryan was moving in on her
and it was like
yeah if Troy had just taken a look at what was actually going on
he would have seen
who Ryan was actually interested in
THEY ARE WEARING EACH OTHER’S CLOTHES
(Source: romangodfrey, via pullmeinlikeariptid3)
- student: hey government can I have some money to go to university
- uk government: sure here you go. you'll have to pay it back but only when you're earning £21,000+ a year, and if you don't pay it off after 30 years we'll just write it off, don't worry about it man
- scottish government: nah man just go to uni we ain't gonna charge you
- us government: no. you gotta pay it yourself. upfront. your parents have to save up from the moment you're born. good luck, fucker. you have six months after graduating to start paying loans so you better pray to fucking god and jesus that you have a well-paying job by then or be prepared to be fucked up the ass without lube.
think what you want about me. message me to see if your assumptions are correct. \m/